Dreadful. Just Dreadful.
Posted by: pudge1914 on: February 22, 2009
Feeling really demoralise.
The recent acts of a mentally ill person has caused much dismay and chaos in some us. Though unrelated, and totally stranger to one another, mental health workers like us, are indirectly but yet greatly affected. Because of a silly act of irresponsibility- refusing to take control and be responsible for his own illness – he has made others liable for his irrational behaviours, and caused us all to pay the price for his stupidity.
I am not blaming him because he has an illness, in fact it is most unfortunate and demands an extreme amount of sympathy from us all, that he has gotten ill, not physically but mentally ill. Out of all illness I have come to understand, mental illness seems like one of the worse anyone can ever get ill from. It takes u away bit by bit, though you are alive and kicking, hell! you might even be able to jump up and down and stay hyper all day or just the opposite – totally lifeless and unmotivated – it draws u into another dimension and then sucks you deeper into the darkness, up to the stage where even ur loved ones no longer recognise you anymore. So its ultimately not good news to know that you are suffering from an illness in the most important part of your whole body and whole livelihood – your brain. Imagine this, Without ur brain, you might not be in control of ur body, you might not be able to feel pain or happiness, you might not be able to feel the touch or enjoy the hugs and kisses ur loved ones gives to u. So think about how serious it is…..when you fall ill in ur brain.
However, it seems, one is not entirely condemn to living in hell when fallen ill in the brain, because science have allow passionate scientist to come up with concoctions of remedies for the mentally ill. Remedies that allows the chemical inside the brain to balance out, medications to soothe the frustrations and negative thoughts, all that to allow sufferers another chance in their fight to retain and sustain the simplest yet most minimal control over their mental wellbeing and most importantly their daily life. Because the earlier you find out and seek treatment for what ever you are ill with, you will be able to sustain and prolong your sanity and allow u to stay in control. Yes! I am saying that, with regular medication and follow up, these medications would help to slow down the process of the illness becoming more severe. Almost like having diabettes, people continuously take their jabs or medication jus to treat and maintain their condition.
So what I was about to say beforse I digress, was that, bcause of an idiot who refuse to be responsible for his own health, thus liable for his behaviours, PPle like us, working on the back end have to step up our services and work harder.
That said, Our work schedules are about to be revised without former preparations but casual and impromptu announcement. I am not looking forward to it because along with our work, our routine way of life will soon become a messy unpredictable lonely lifestyle. And yet, thats not what we had sign up for in the very frst place. I am so upset and depressed by the sudden change – no advance warning, no preparation for the on-coming work challenges, no employee welfare – what is to become of our current pay and our work schedule? And because the bomb was dropped so abruptly, we are unable to respond appropriately to the so sudden implementations.
I’m lost and extremely upset about the lack of motivations or urgency to make things clearer by briefing us at least, because we three are the ones directly affected by this sudden and informal arrangements. Its killing me because, MY LIFE!!! My life after work, over the weekends, activites – tennis lessons, taiji lessons, bowling nights, yoga, combat classes, etc etc…the things I am so passionately participating during my free time – after work and over the weekends during the past 2 years. And we’re left to just wait and wonder what our life is going to be like, how we’re going to adapt night shifts? How we will have no more weekends to look forward to, how we can’t go meet up with frens and gather with our families when they are free over the weekends. How our health might suffer, because of the late nights from the shift duties, being unable to sleep, we’ll get heaty and our hormones will probably run wild and haywire, I know firmly, that I do not want to let that happen to me. And its absolutely not negotiable if I wan to stay in this job. The part I am in a delimma with is, am I ready or even willing to sacrifice MY LIFE for as much money as they are going to be willing to revised, even though we know more or less they are going to come up with some peanut sum to buy our lives away and strip us off our freedom.
Most importantly, it has create a disturbance and hindrance to my future plans, inconvenience to my work life balance. I am so depress by the change, I am not sure If I should accept it or move on and venture into other job opportunities. Am i good enough, is it the right time? I refuse to accept that these corporate people have brainlessly thot of such “creative” methods and then implement it into other people’s life.
All I know is its all coming to an abrupt end. And I should have gone to find any job when my friend had introduce to be sometime ago.
I am in Dismay and in grievance.
Plus its really upsetting to know that your voices will not be heard off and considered in this situation that will affect you more than any of those working in the HR and directing positions. Because they are simply too corporatised to bother. To them its all about the money making. I mean I know that of cos, but dun anybody care about staff welfare these days??? With all that “PEOPLE DEVELOPER” achievements and what not, dun they even look into it at all and review the certifications?????
I guess my decisions have already been made….I am just waiting to see what they can come up with.
I’m such a punk!
Posted by: pudge1914 on: January 21, 2009
What A punk I was last night.
I hate guys who think that infidelity is absolutely acceptable. I despise pple like that, because they simply have no respect for others as human beings. I will not tolerate or condone any idea of infidelity, whether is it towards a couple who only started dating for a month to a couple married for years. It is rude and disrespectful to the partner being left in the dark.
Allow me to explain the meaning of Infidelity. I quote from Dictionary.com
in⋅fi⋅del⋅i⋅ty
2. unfaithfulness; disloyalty.
I don’t care if its because both party can no longer work things out, and are on the verge of separation, it is not an excuse or reason to cheat at all. Because if you want to be with somebody i the first place, its your responsibility to stay unwavered by temptations. Only you have the ability to maintain your self control, and as a person, if you dun or can’t even have self control, it goes to show what kind of a person you are. Thus, this person would most probably have some serious self esteem issues.
That said, being unfaithful to your once “loved” let alone still “love” (as some would still say it in obvious denial) is not something to BOAST and BRAG about. If one goes through the trouble of extending the scenario to frens and pple he knows, then that person must have some underlying insecurities. As to what is it..no one will ever know. Because this sort of pple tend to like to hide themselves behind a mask to make themselves look “COOL” or worthy enough among the pple they know. But in truth, no one is or can be deemed unworthy by others, except for themselves . So maybe if social worthiness, appear to be so important and crucial in influencing a person’s choice, then perhaps he should start looking within and evaluate the importance of such realistic ideas, instead of being overly concern and putting weight into what others might see and say about you. Thats a baggage, only we can unload ourselves, so dun go blaming your wife, your gf, for your jerkoff attitude and screwed up principles to go cheat on them. No one else should take the blame and scrutiny but the evil doer, not the victim. You can try to turn the tables around, sweep all that guilt under ur bed, and flush away all that remorse, but I can assure you, it’ll all come creeping back to you one day. And when that day come, I hope I’ll be there to see it.
An incident related to my above ranting. Below name is reduced to just his initials. There is no intentions of making him anonymous whatsoever, since he has no intentions of keeping it a secret and making it as discreet as possible, I might as well help him tell the whole world what kind of person he is, so that his many other “flings” or “3rd party” as he called it, will know what a player he is, then he can carry on with his business of “cheating on his wife, countless times” and get a “divorce” after like one or two years of marriage to the wife that he so often make rude remarks off behind her back of cos. Poor girl. Having experienced such injustice in my previous relationship (GOOD RIDDANCE), I vowed never to ever allow such disrespectful betrayal to happen without a SMACK on the face. So…being the LOUD MOUTH and BUSY BODY me, I couldn’t help but jump right in to put my DOLLARS Worth of lecture! I wan to justify her pain and betrayal, I want to WIPE THAT BLARDY SMILE OFF HIS GLOATING FACE!!!
Last night – On Msn (I intentionally set up the conversation to baite him in, knowing that he’ll jump right into the opportunity of broadcasting his “divorce” due to a “third party” involvement and him “cheating countlessly”. I was already well aware of the whole “case” before I spoke to him. That’s why I knew I could baite him in, like I said he seems to love bragging about him cheating after being married. What a pathetic guy.
Here’s a rough idea of what happened. I accidentally deleted the stupid conversation.
Me: You gng to run 2.4 k?
K: yes
Me: sure not? Serious? Kena force by army to run rite?
K: no. I run willingly. why? hard to believe?
K: Hey I’m getting a divorce you know.
Me: Really? Sure not? Dun bluff
K: Yeah I am. you dun believe? I told Kevin all about it, you dun believe you ask him.
K: actually theres a 3rd party involve
Me: serious? Who? Omg…Your wife cheated on you? Oh no.. (i knew he was going to admit that it was him…but I chose to pretend)
K: No. No. No.
K: its not her, its me.
K: me!
K: Me! (At least 3 times, he insisted on claiming “CREDITS” for the cheating. UNBELIEVEABLE!!!)
K: I was the one who cheated. Actually I am quite confuse. Been wanting to get advise from pple. (like it’ll help!…he’s always said that its ok for men to have affairs and mistress/sex partners outside of marriage, as long as they still go home to their wife. And it doesn’t mean having a mistress outside means they dun love their wife. See what kind of low life I am dealing with?!)
Me: Hahahaha….You? Cheat? Sure or not? Dun lie lar. How is that possible? (And I just know what was about to come after this, I lead him to it)
K: Why? is it so hard to believe that I cheat?
K: I’ve cheated countless times.
K: You think I cannot?
K: issit because you think I am fat thats why I cannot cheat?
Me: Dun bluff lar. hahahahahaha
K: Nbei, you think I am fat and cannot cheat issit?
K: KNN you calling me fat?
(poor guy! He must be suffering some serious insecurity issues. But then again, I didn’t even say a word, so why the hell is he hurling vulgarities at me?But no I am not calling him fat, more like a liar and a boastful one.)
Me: I didn’t say that. Don’t put words in my mouth.
K: then why you dun believe me? (seems quite determine to make pple believe that he is capable to cheat and has the ability to get a 3rd party involve ah)
Me: How is that possible!? hahaha…
Me: Who goes around telling pple he’s getting a divorce and its because he cheated and he’s did it countless times. You seem so proud about it.
K: No lar.. I have my reasons.
Me: it doesn’t give you an excuse to cheat. And to cheat countless times.
Me: Hahaha..anyway…very funny. I dun believe lar. (I still wan to maintain that he is NOT CAPABLE!!!!)
Then he started trying to explain how his wife doesn’t seem to like to hang out with us. And how, their marriage wouldn’t work, how the both of them can’t stay together. RIGHT! Like thats a reason to cheat and tell the whole world.
Me: So are you saying that because you are fat, you want to prove to pple that you can also cheat?
K: This conversation is not going anywhere, if you continue to rant. (Why? I dun think I am done yet? But he’s probably giving up, since he is not getting the satisfaction out of telling me, like he’d been telling others.)
Then he started calling me Young, Childish, Unmarried dunno whats going on, wouldn’t understand, until I am married. Whats so hard to understand? You are insecure, you have poor self control, you have childish and unrealistic perceptions about marriage life and you have no respect for woman at all. Whats not to understand? Who’s the childish one? Here i am trying to defend all woman’s reason to married and defend their worth, and all this guy can worry about is, being called fat and not believed for cheating. So pathetic.
Then he again complaint about me ranting and me passing my judgement without hearing him out…Please….If he really thought about it, and really still did it, he would have expected this sort of stuff to followup rite?
To think he start it off by telling pple he is divorcing because he cheats countless times, what was he expecting? A WARM HUG and A PAT ON THE BACK for the “GREAT JOB” he’s done??? GEESH! What was he thinking? Should so wake up his freaking idea.
I dun even know why I even bother wasting my time talking to him…But I was really getting a kick out of his irritation for the number of times I refuse to believe he could cheat! Hahaha… he was really frustrated, with trying to convince me, towards the end, he attempted to block me from his msn to end the TORTUROUS conversation, but I wouldn’t give up, I continued ranting.
It was absolutely hilarious!
Honestly, I dun even care what he does, nor do I have the right to judge his actions on infidelity at all. But since he decided to tell the whole world, ”unluckily for him he told me” and embarrasse himself just to put his POINT across, I couldn’t resist shooting his EGO BOOSTING ATTEMPT down!!! And Blasting whatever PUNY EGO he has left in that HUGE HEAD/ Belly he’s got!
I am not a mean person. Hell, I am even more sensitive than the average….but I will not stand for such behaviour in my circle, and I will go thru any extend, even losing my image or ruining my reputation to be call a BIATCH, if I have to, just to put such Pathetic Losers back in their hiding hole- where they belong!
Thats the sort of person i will not care to lose. One less in this world, the better for all woman kind. And so that they dun go clouding and corrupting the minority of decent guys with their screwed up concepts.
And to think I once call K my “brother”, because he’s got (sadly) the same surname as me, and the “SNAG” image he puts up and across was believeable enough. Its now clear to me that its all a facade. I was so fooled. One thing tho…the SENSITIVE NEW AGE GUY thingy….was a part true…cos he sure gets OVER SENSITIVE, and misunderstands pple calling him fat ALL THE TIME! Frankly, I think its high time he accepts it and manage it instead of fussing about pple calling him fat. Its not something anyone can overlook.
Thats all I wish to rant! Ahhh…feels so good! I’m so mean. Well…dun mess with me or I’ll poison you with my words…otherwise I’m a REALLY nice person to have around. 
Wow! So cool! I’m actually writing a post using my mobile! Although the whole browser looks a little disjointed n stuff,cos i guess my screen is a little too small to load a whole browser,unlike e iphone of cos. Too bad i was still wif starhub,else i’d have definitely gotten an iphone!
Its an amazing feeling for me,tm know that i’d be able to blog almost anywhere now,as long as i am under free wireless access. Of cos rite now,i’m under my home’s wireless network. Pardon me for being so back dated,and all psyched up abt this,you guys probably are already using those feed stuff or been mobile blogging for ages. Gimme a break k,i’m new to this mobile thingy. Woohoo! I’m celebrating e wonders n advancement of technologies,n of cos, the brilliance of me getting tis phone-c905! Cos not only can i serve wif it, i can listen to music n most importantly, i get to take really great pics wif amazing clarity using its 8.1megapixel cybershot camera! This is wat i’d call FANTABULOUS! All these, at e comfort n convenience of my bed!
Alrite now its time to tug in n sleep! Hehe
Nitey Nite you tech savvy peeps!
Year 2009
Posted by: pudge1914 on: January 6, 2009
Gone with 2008, in with the new. My FIRST POST FOR YEAR 2009
What a way to start the new year.
1. My Old Sony Ericsson Walkman phone went dead on me, and I was forced to get a new one – Sony Ericsson C905 (love the camera fucntions)
2. I fell ill on the last week of 2008, during my long break from work, and at the start of my trip to K.L with my family. Have been sick ever since.
3. My NEW sony ericsson C905, went bonkers too or should I say it died after like only one week from being bought. SHUCKS! Luckily for me, I brought it back to the store and they willingly exchanged a new set for me.
4. I seem to have misplaced, or lose my phone’s memory card. Dammit! All the pictures, songs, themes inside it, are all gonna be gone for good if I dun find it.
5. And the worse of all, my face been plagued with a massive outbreak of pus-filled pimples, after beginning the use of the Dr. Secret skincare regime. I dunno if its meant to be like that, and if I should be patient and let it ruin my face even more, or should I just stop and go back on Proactiv. All I know is, its SERIOUSLY forcing out all my blocked/clogged pores aka Purging Process. Its painful and swollen and red, plus its peeling at the same time. Apparently, the product meant to do that for your skin, to clear it all up and then to renew it. Sighz…I’ll just keep telling myself to hang in there, be patient and wait for a miracle to happen. I am so sick of my skin condition – oily, pimple/acne prone – I wish I could just scrap it all away and be faceless. Why do I have to inherit the PIMPLISH genes from my dad? Why can’t I have smooth skin like other girls? To find out more of how my skin condition is and more.
Please go to “My Dr’s Secret Experience” page to get more updated details on the process of getting my skin clear and outcome after using this product. http://pudge1914.wordpress.com/my-drs-secret-experience/
6. My Fuji Finepix Z5 camera seemed to have konked up on me too! The screen is an utter mess of blanks and fine lines with colours. What a blur. Must have dropped it real hard somewhere or sometime back. Good thing, I am beginning to rely on my handphone’s camera.
Other than point number 5, I could actually live with everything else, and learn to adapt.
Now, to add on something unrelatedly related, and on a more positive note.
Gone for a nice TLC last saturday at the salon, that meaning, I FINALLY went for my LONG PLANNED HAIRSTLYE CHANGED!!! After seeing how Junie worked her wonders to mend my sis’s new bob (from Australia), I decided its time for me to make some changes and rid of the old LONG, UNTAMED, LIFELESS Tress of mine. Junie suggested I do a perm! And I ditto that. She gave me a slight to trim, so that my old bleached ends could go, and then used an ELECTRIC perm on me.
End Product: Turned out shorter than I had planned, but as curly as I wanted. Just wish my complexion is good now, then everything will be perfect, and I’d be contented. I love being able to mess it all up, without looking interntionally messy! I mean a permed hair, is simply messy! And I love it!
Coming out from the good a little bit, and into the Bad….
I am still coughing. Feels like crap.
Wonder how year 2009 will be like. Starts off so crappy, I won’t be surprise if it’ll turn out to be a crappy year too.
Besides that….Back to the Happy.
coming 29th Jan will be our 2nd anniversary!!! Hooray!!! And thats really something, to me, at least. Would never in my dreams expect to go on for that long, I only knew, that I would go with the flow and not expect too much. Who would have thought that we would come to together on this very day 2 years ago. I guess no one did. Neither did we expect it.
Its been a wonderful and blissful journey. He’s made every bit of our travel so sweet and amazing, I don’t know what more any girl could ever ask for. Time seriously flies by without realising, it felt as though we’ve been going on for ages, instead of just two. But I really hope that, it does not mean that our bond and love is growing old and dying, instead I pray for it to grow stronger and everlasting, and for me to be well-behaved and to be sane enough to treasure what I have before me and to love him endlessly.
So, whats going to be on my New Year’s Resolution this year? Honestly, I’ve never had one, and I dun plan listing any this year as well. Probably a New Year’s Wish List would be better? I’m always wishing for this and that, a wish list would be more appropriate!
People Come. People Go.
Posted by: pudge1914 on: December 26, 2008
People Come. People Go. Thats how life is.
Have you ever felt like you’ve exhausted all ur advises you can provide, and all other means and ways you could help a fren? Well, I have.
What about, trying to help and be supportive, yet misunderstood for the things you have done, and then blamed for things you haven’t done and have no clue about? I experienced that as well.
Lastly, do everything you can, just to be there for a fren as long as its within your ability, gladly give unconditionally, yet not be appreciated for your efforts, and not trust upon? Been there, done that!
These were the exact things I’d had to experience some time back. And I can tell you, it sure doesn’t make anyone feel good at all, especially when you are already at your wits end and still being looked upon for an “Unappreciated Friendship Support”. You know that at any point in time, you are up to the brim of exploding into pieces wishing that you could just fade away into the unknown, and make yourself disappear, nvr to be called upon for help that is unrealistic, and you just cannot give. That was me, then.
I was so caught up in helping, listening, supporting – fulfilling my so-called Duties as a “Best Friend”, I simply couldn’t differentiate what is and what’s not anymore. I can’t sort out, what’s urgent to something minor and blown out of proportion, without having to go through with the guilt treatment each and every single time. It was horrible.
I was not sure where my priorities were. I was lost at dealing with it appropriately. It felt like I was being pushed to the wall. And everytime I get a buzz, I’d dread picking up the call, because it meant that I was about to be summoned for support that I feel is no longer worth giving.
I felt so tired all the time – listening. I’d try giving impartial advises and opinions, but not only will they be shot down and discredited, my intentions would be misinterpreted and misunderstood.
I contstantly ask myself, why I put myself through so much hassle and emotional stress.The incidents or events would recurr over a number of times, and each time nothing is solved, thus the vicious cycle, and I’d be looped into the whole emotional ordeal. And I HATE IT! Its so depressive.
Don’t they have any self awareness? Do they look back at events, and blame every single person involved, in something that went wrong? Will they ever try asking themselves if they were the caused of the problem? Will they ever look back and feel remorse over a small detail that could have mattered? I see them blaming everyone but themselves? Nvr once, stopped to ponder over how they have behaved and whether they should change. Its always, “they must change!”
If you’ve got relationship woes occurring every once a month or once every fortnight, you’ve got something to think about.
Are you always going to your frens, and relying on them for emotional suppport, and saying things that you dun mean at all? When will you stop?
Will you ever be happy and contented with what you’ve got, rather than always comparing that patch of grass to another that you dun own?
Is it You? Or is it your other half? Why are the both of you still together if things haven’t work out many times over?
I finally woke up, and braven up to wash my hands off trying to fit the expectations and criterias of being a “Best Friend”. Its tiring enough, but when your efforts are not appreciated but yet taken advantage of, its time to walk away. Its the only thing I could do. I’ve fallen hard many times over, and I’ve been hurt time and time again, each time a cut deeper. I blamed myself for not being able to withstand the hurdle, but I’ve wisen up to know that its beyond my ability when others refuse to wisen up themselves.
People change, and they grow up, their perceptions changes as well. I guess we do grow out of somethings. And there comes a point in time where we’ll know what we want, and how we should be treated. So in with the good meaning those whom are worth it and are important to your life, and off with the bad.
Day 4 of my long break.
Posted by: pudge1914 on: December 16, 2008
Day 4 of my long leave.
Its really good to not go to work. I am really enjoying it, but I do miss my colleagues sometimes and the work we do. BUT!!! I am taking this long break as an opportunity for me to recharge and getaway from all the emotional baggage and stressors we can get because of work, and I hope that it will bring a fresh and positive Me back to work for the new year. Cos I think thats what i need.
Beginning to think I am losing a some empathy and compassion. I am only, human. Like everyone else, i am no robot and not made of stone, and my blood runs warm in my veins, so i do Feel, alot.
Jus watched survivor -Gabon on Channel 5, (yes i know! I am nvr a supporter for mediacorp stuff, more so their productions, esp Channel 8. why? Cos they suck! Anyhoo…survivor is not mediacorp and i watched because my sis wanted to)— Back to Survivor - Gabon—I simply can’t believe how awfully mean on of the contestants was!
Her name is Corinne! PHUI! Especially when she said those “Nasty” things to Sugar. Does she think she is so darn pretty? Why does she “Hate” – thats what she said- Sugar that much? It isn’t easy to stay with a person who cries so often, but to dislike her to that extend, is beyond understandable. In fact jus because Sugar was crying so much was totally not justifiable for Corinne to hate her that much to pass those rude and senseless comments.
What does the comment she passed make of her? Did she even think? Calling people dumb or lowly educated and watever she had said, does not make her look very smart does it? Wat was she thinking? What happened to her degree or HER education that she is so constantly bragging about? Did it teach her that people like Sugar who are jus different are less of a person than she is? MAn! It just goes to show that, you may be highly educated but it doesn’t really means and certify that you are smart.
And Yes! I ROOT FOR SUGAR eventho she didn’t win the money! If it wasn’t for what I had heard corinne say to Sugar, I wouldn’t have dislike her so much to actually wanna blog this down.
Was Corinne jus plain jealous of Sugar’s good looks and lovable personality, that she had to hate her, because Sugar was such a threat to her? Only she will know. Obviously she didn’t portray herself to be very smart either. Still we are in no position to judge her, ourselves.
My Deprivation!
Posted by: pudge1914 on: December 15, 2008
Alot’s been going on lately, so many events and activities, my time is so occupied with having to accompany my sis before her bf comes over to spend the festive season. This month, seems like its just filled with Family, Family, Family. First it was the funeral, now its the Ngs, by right there should be another gathering just around the corner – my cousin’s wedding – but becos of the passing of my granddad, we cannot attend. A blessing in disguise? A little drained, but still doing ok.
Drained because 2 weeks had past, with all that busy schedule, I hardly had the chance to spend a nice quiet day with Jono. And thats taking a toll on me, beginning to feel really deprive. Wonder how long more I can take. He is actually very sweet, making a constant effort to be around, eventhough it means having to spend the day with my family, either jus one person extra or the whole family. And of cos, thats really very good for me, the fact that he tries without a hint of displease or reluctance. I know its really hard for him sometimes, as my family ain’t the most functional of all, they or we can be pretty dysfunctional – fighting and debating most of the time. I am sure it must be pretty tiring as well, to meet all the demands and all that yapping away. Its an overall demanding task. And I’ve really got to give him the credit for being able to tolerate all that, and still driving us all over the place, and having to put up with all the crap, and yet no complains but more obliging. Just fantastic. No guy or any bf I heard off, or ever came across, would be so sweet and thoughtful as he is. Really take my hat off his undying patience.
I on the contrary, ain’t that patient, and tolerant to my family as a whole. Too much of the family, makes a grouchy and a less jovial ME. I dunno why. Its hard for anyone to really understand. Even Jono can’t seem to figure it out. ANd I dun blame him. I’m jus an odd ball. There’s probably nothing more important to me, but Me and of cos Jono. And i’ve been nagged at, upteen times about my lack for enthusiasism for wanting to spend time with family. But of cos, being Me, I can’t give a damn. Cos i suppose i can be really selfish. Nothing is more important to me, or more valuable to me, than playing and having fun. And having a family gathering isn’t my idea of fun at all. Its just boring, esp with the extended family gathering.
Hmmm…i seem to be writing a lot of depressive stuff lately. SUPER CRANKY. Must be the deprivation to be around Jono. Gotta learn to lighten up alittle.
Can’t help it….miss him too much.
Darn! it’s 2.30am, i had better get some sleep soon.
One of the many things I can’t understand.
Posted by: pudge1914 on: December 11, 2008
Finally!!! I’m so glad I’m taking a long break away from work. It was starting to make miserable as well….all the stress showing on me…pimples popping out like nobodies business. Besides being able to get away from all the woes of the world, I’ve finally the time to post a short entry or two, as and when I like it, maybe its because of this Acer Mini that I am using, makes logging in so much easier and convenient. Should consider getting one for myself, as a spare. Cos this one I am using is actually meant for my dad. 
Alright, back to why I am posting. For a start, the weekend that had past felt like a waste to me! Dammit! Having to spend all weekend at a funeral – My grandfather’s funeral. Call me heartless and unfilial, but I really dun see the point in spending hours and days at a wake. I believe, that when a person dies, he or she’s is gone, and no longer do they dwell on humanly emotions from earth. They are off to another dimension. But somehow or rather, most people dun see it that way, instead they dwell on the death and everything else they can (jus to make themselves feel better about guilt or whatever they are feeling) and I can’t understand that. Sorry if I sound ruthless. But its something that I firmly believe, of cos I won’t expect others to understand it, vice versa. I know its a culture thing, but why can’t we all follow the christians or the westerns who only hold their wake for like a day or two? Like how they portray it in the movies? Correct me if i am wrong about this one. But at least the christians wake or funeral ain’t so chiong hei. The one my family had was so long and draggy, a prayer in the day, another one at night, then another one the next following days. OMG! It lasted for a full 9days! Gosh! I was seriously suspecting if it was ever gng to come to an end. Luckily for me, it did.
Lots of unnecessary money and time spent on funerals, and those money could have been used to take the person out for a nice meal or even to get them a nice gift, instead of throwing it all away on papers meant for burning. All that big Hoo-Haa just for a dead person? For wat? Just to show. To show the neighbours that this person is well respected (only in the dead). The saying goes, we dun treasure the things we have, when we have them, only to treasure and regret when they are lost. Like i said – all for show.
Not only do they do the whole show thing, they also love to push blames and responsibilities on people about how one dies. Totally dun see the point!
Alright! Enough of funerals already, like I haven’t had enough.
Sleepy….dozing off…..NITE!!!
Nag Nag Nagger!!!
Posted by: pudge1914 on: December 10, 2008
I can’t wait to move out and live on my own? Or what ever the likes, just to shut my parents up or even any of those OLD OLD-FASHION PEEP!!!
For crying out loud, I’m already 26 and coming 27 next year! Geez! Yet I am treated like a child. Like a 10 year old who needs her parents to make decisions whether, she should go for art classes, or go for ballet, or even to decide who she can play with after school. For Pete’s Sake I am not 3 year old! I am 26, and I can jolly well decide what’s best and what’s not for me. And I can choose who I wan to mix with and go out with and spend the night with!!! I dun need an old adult who is so passe to decide for me. Yes! They are passe. They are old and though they have far more experience than I do in life, and happenings, they are a are from an era that no longer is valid in this time and century. Times have change! And kids no longer listen to their parent’s teaching! They try to live their life the way they want it. And whatever the consequences they learn to bear it.
Anyhoo. I am saying that…I am not one who sits ard and let my parents tell me what to do, and allow them them to run my life for me. I will do anything I can – in my power – down to my last breath, to debate it out. And win what’s rightfully mine – my thots and my views!!!
So STOP NAGGING UR WAY, AND JUS LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!!! YOU ARE NOt me! ANd I dun GIVE A DAMN WHAT PPLE SAY!!! I SO WAY PASS That crap to worry about what pple have to say or think about me!
Too Much in my Head
Posted by: pudge1914 on: December 9, 2008
So many things to do, so little time….So much in my head…but yet I am so long winded.
Work to do – deadlines to meet. Funeral to attend or attended – time wasted. Holiday to spend with family, frens or my love ones. sighz…want so much to pen my thoughts..but haven’t had the opportunity.
Like this new wordpress interface. Love the new quick post thingy, hope it’ll help me with my long winded-lazy to post-entry habit.
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