Feeling really demoralise.

The recent acts of a mentally ill person has caused much dismay and chaos in some us. Though unrelated, and totally stranger to one another, mental health workers like us, are indirectly but yet greatly affected. Because of a silly act of irresponsibility- refusing to take control and be responsible for his own illness – he has made others liable for his irrational behaviours, and caused us all to pay the price for his stupidity.

I am not blaming him because he has an illness, in fact it is most unfortunate and demands an extreme amount of sympathy from us all, that he has gotten ill, not physically but mentally ill. Out of all illness I have come to understand, mental illness seems like one of the worse anyone can ever get ill from. It takes u away bit by bit, though you are alive and kicking, hell! you might even be able to jump up and down and stay hyper all day or just the opposite – totally lifeless and unmotivated – it draws u into another dimension and then sucks you deeper into the darkness, up to the stage where even ur loved ones no longer recognise you anymore. So its ultimately not good news to know that you are suffering from an illness in the most important part of your whole body and whole livelihood – your brain. Imagine this, Without ur brain, you might not be in control of ur body, you might not be able to feel pain or happiness, you might not be able to feel the touch or enjoy the hugs and kisses ur loved ones gives to u. So think about how serious it is…..when you fall ill in ur brain.

However, it seems, one is not entirely condemn to living in hell when fallen ill in the brain, because science have allow passionate scientist to come up with concoctions of remedies for the mentally ill. Remedies that allows the chemical inside the brain to balance out, medications to soothe the frustrations and negative thoughts, all that to allow sufferers another chance in their fight to retain and sustain the simplest yet most minimal control over their mental wellbeing and most importantly their daily life. Because the earlier you find out and seek treatment for what ever you are ill with, you will be able to sustain and prolong your sanity and allow u to stay in control. Yes! I am saying that, with regular medication and follow up, these medications would help to slow down the process of the illness becoming more severe. Almost like having diabettes, people continuously take their jabs or medication jus to treat and maintain their condition.

So what I was about to say beforse I digress, was that, bcause of an idiot who refuse to be responsible for his own health, thus liable for his behaviours, PPle like us, working on the back end have to step up our services and work harder.

That said, Our work schedules are about to be revised without former preparations but casual and impromptu announcement. I am not looking forward to it because along with our work, our routine way of life will soon become a messy unpredictable lonely lifestyle.  And yet, thats not what we had sign up for in the very frst place. I am so upset and depressed by the sudden change – no advance warning, no preparation for the on-coming work challenges, no employee welfare – what is to become of our current pay and our work schedule? And because the bomb was dropped so abruptly, we are unable to respond appropriately to the so sudden implementations.

I’m lost and extremely upset about the lack of motivations or urgency to make things clearer by briefing us at least, because we three are the ones directly affected by this sudden and informal arrangements. Its killing me because, MY LIFE!!! My life after work, over the weekends, activites – tennis lessons, taiji lessons, bowling nights, yoga, combat classes, etc etc…the things I am so passionately participating during my free time – after work and over the weekends during the past 2 years. And we’re left to just wait and wonder what our life is going to be like, how we’re going to adapt night shifts? How we will have no more weekends to look forward to, how we can’t go meet up with frens and gather with our families when they are free over the weekends. How our health might suffer, because of the late nights from the shift duties, being unable to sleep, we’ll get heaty and our hormones will probably run wild and haywire, I know firmly, that I do not want to let that happen to me. And its absolutely not negotiable if I wan to stay in this job. The part I am in a delimma with is, am I ready or even willing to sacrifice MY LIFE for as much money as they are going to be willing to revised, even though we know more or less they are going to come up with some peanut sum to buy our lives away and strip us off our freedom.

Most importantly, it has create a disturbance and hindrance to my future plans, inconvenience to my work life balance. I am so depress by the change, I am not sure If I should accept it or move on and venture into other job opportunities. Am i good enough, is it the right time?  I refuse to accept that these corporate people have brainlessly thot of such “creative” methods and then implement it into other people’s life.  

All I know is its all coming to an abrupt end. And I should have gone to find any job when my friend had introduce to be sometime ago.

I am in Dismay and in grievance.

Plus its really upsetting to know that your voices will not be heard off and considered in this situation that will affect you more than any of those working in the HR and directing positions. Because they are simply too corporatised to bother. To them its all about the money making. I mean I know that of cos, but dun anybody care about staff welfare these days??? With all that “PEOPLE DEVELOPER” achievements and what not, dun they even look into it at all and review the certifications?????

I guess my decisions have already been made….I am just waiting to see what they can come up with.